"Merry Christmas", not "Happy Holidays"

The past few weeks I've been thinking a lot about Christmas {obviously}. But I've been thinking a lot about how grateful I am to live in a place where people are still allowed to say "Christmas" without others having a politically correct heart attack.

As much as I love Christmas time because of the fun parties, and the fun traditions {ex mistletoe}, and the fun treats, presents, lights, snow, Christmas trees, etc, I love the spirit of the Christmas season. When you take Christ out of this time of year

I just wanted to say that I'm grateful for my savior, Jesus Christ, and the sacrifice he made for me and for everyone. I'm grateful for Christmas because it gives me a special chance to remember Him and to make a better effort to do as He would do.

I'm not the biggest fan of most Christmas music played on the radio, but I love the Christmas hymns! I love listening to them because they say the things I feel but don't know how to put into my own words. I'm also very grateful for Temple Square, especially during Christmas time. I got to go twice this year and it was fantastic. Even during a really cold snow storm there is no place I'd rather go.

"At this time of Christmas, this season when gifts are given, let us not forget that God gave His Son, and His Son gave His life, that each of us might have the gift of eternal life." -Gordon B. Hinckley

So mostly I just wanted to say, Merry Christmas!

And that's how I embarrassed myself in front of Elder Oaks

There's pretty much not a week that goes by that I don't have at least 1 photo shoot in Salt Lake. {I don't want to talk about how much I spend on gas a week #photographerproblems} Last Friday I was shooting a wedding at the Salt Lake Temple and it was seriously such a beautiful day, a perfect couple, perfect weather, and delicious warm light. I was leaving from the parking garage headed to their reception {that also was perfection} and in front of me was a white car. The white car leaves the garage and I do right after it. When I got out of the parking garage I switched to the left lane and the white car that was in front of me is now directly to my right. We were both stopped at a red light and I glance over to my right and I notice that Dallin H. Oaks is the driver. 

When I see my friends in this situation I totally wave. And not even thinking about it at all I started waving dork-ily. {is that a word?} You know, because he's my 'friend'.... Well when I realized how odd I was being, naturally I become even weirder. So now my wave was not normal... And I'm sure my face looked like a tomato. It was at this point that I realized a few things. First- He has no idea who I am. Second-We are not friends in real life. Third-I love grandpas. Fourth-The light had been green for a few seconds and the mean lady behind me clearly had no idea I was having a moment with Elder Oaks and started honking.

He saw the frantic hand movements and looked directly at me and smiled really big {probably finding me humorous} and waved back. And it wasn't even a 'this is really awkward but I have to wave back because what else am I to do' kind of wave. It was a really sincere smile and wave. 

If he ever uses this story in General Conference I'll consider myself famous. 

And that's how I embarrassed myself in front of  became friends with Elder Oaks.

The time I became the girl of his dreams, Magenta Chinchilla Mitten, email.

Oh, hey! So it's basically, more or less, been a few years since I've written. I really wish that I could say it's because I've been on some far away adventure or because I had jury duty {which is on my bucket list!!! If someone knows how to rig the system please put my name on it! I'll give you a large hug.}
But in all actuality it has a lot more to do with the fact that I have had at least 1 wedding every week for the past 6 weeks which basically means that I live in the alternate universe known as "PS" or Photoshop. Have I mentioned that I miss the darkroom?

To Chris and Carsten, my photo professors:

You were right. I was wrong. I MISS THE DARKROOM! I'll tell all of my friends still there that they should be happy to oblige to your darkroom assignments and do it was a smile on their face always. Even the dumb frustrating studio mirror/glass/gray card/number/ISO testing/practice technique shoots that I used 30+ rolls of expensive film on and still never perfected. 

p.s. You never taught me about run-on sentences.

A student that wishes she could work in a darkroom again,
Brianna

To my USU Photo Major Friends,

You should take full advantage of the darkrooms while you're in school. You probably won't be able to work in one for a while after graduating unless you're cool like Lindy and turn your Durango into one. 

P.S. I really miss you. All of you. 

-Brianna

Aside from editing all day every day always, I actually have a social life in Provo. So that's pretty neat. I was skeptical when moving here, but it's turned out to be pretty awesome.

Because I rarely talk about anything too serious on my blog I have a few funny {well... one was embarrassing...} things to share with you.
The first is a story.

It was the first week at church after the ward changed because people moved back for school. I walked into sunday school and I went to talk to my super awesome friend Natalie who was talking to this guy I'd never met.
She said, "Hey, this is Brian" {I'd change the name as to not embarrass anyone, but his name is important in the story. Keep reading}
So like a normal person I said, {while all 3 of us were rounding a corner headed to sit down and not speaking in the direction of his face} "I have the girl version of your name!" {which let's be honest, isn't really a normal way to introduce one's self. Take my advice on this one}
 But because of the direction I projected this, Brian thought I said, "I'm the girl of your dreams!" Which obviously made him both excited and freaked out at the same time.
At this point I thought he just couldn't figure out what the girl name version of Brian was so you can imagine the look {and color} on my face when he said, "you're the girl of my dreams?!" I had no idea that that was what he heard me say so then I was the one that was both excited and freaked out. I calmly said, "whhhaaat....?"
So then after him looking and sounding just as confused as me one thing lead to another and I told him my name was Brianna. Aside from me being the girl of his dreams, Brian is now my home teacher. Also, we are friends on Facebook so in the off chance that he reads this blog post... I don't know how to end that sentence.

2nd thing-
I think my apartment is a popular destination for random advertisements and announcements. We have had so many fliers announcing random bands and dance parties and other things lately that we probably are the cause of the diminishing of the Brazilian rainforest or something. My roommates and I have gotten a kick out of some of the names that DJ's come up with for them selves though. My all time favorite one is "DJ JJ Jetplane" I don't think they have enough J's in there though, personally. The only other one I can think of off the top of my head is "DJ King Darius". So I have a question. How does one come up with their DJ name? Is it like one of those email forwards that say something like this?

"To find out your DJ name combine the words together according to below:

If you're first name starts with an A: Mauve

If you're first name starts with a B: Magenta

If you're first name starts with an C: Turquoise

etc etc etc.

If the 4th digit of your phone number is a 1: Porcupine

If the 4th digit of your phone number is a 2: Hippo

If the 4th digit of your phone number is a 3: Chinchilla 

etc etc etc.

If you were born in January: mitten

If you were born in February: toe sock

If you were born in March: bikini

etc etc etc."

I bet it is. According to this email forward that is definitely real, my DJ name is DJ Magenta Chinchilla Mitten. Sounds pretty legit to me! 

let me know of DJ names that get taped to your front doors. It's bound to happen. Also, If you need the rest of this email forward to know what your DJ name is, let me know. I'll gladly forward it to you but know that if you don't forward it to EVERYONE in your contact list within 5 hours, your great uncle Larry might die from being eaten by shark or something.

The last thing I wanted to mention this morning is that I GOT AN EMAIL FROM MY NOT-SO-SECRET LAWYER BLOGGER CRUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So what that I emailed him first and his response was only one sentence. I GOT AN EMAIL FROM MY NOT-SO-SECRET LAWYER BLOGGER CRUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You guys. This is real. I feel in my heart that we have a real email connection. I'll let you know if anything else happens. ALSO, he lives in Salt Lake now and not on a tropical island on the equator so this COULD happen. Have a little faith. Stay tuned.

A happy list.

 I consider myself a happy person. I'm a lover of life and try really hard to make every day a good day. I believe in laughing a lot. I hear it gives you abs. Which has yet to happen for me which possibly means I am not laughing as much as I should be? I like to smile. Smiling is my favorite.

So a while back I started having a 'list of the week' that lasted apx 2 weeks. So here's a list I'm titling

Dancing- Not that I have a talent for this. I certainly do not. I'm good at the q-tip dance and I can definitely do the grocery shopping move, but other than that it's probably not a beautiful thing to see. But I think it's fun. I need to go country swing dancing here! It's been far too long.

The eye doctor- I get to see my favorite doctor of all time today! Not the particular person, the particular kind of doctor. Every time you go to a doctor, you have a reason you're there. Doctors will either tell you whats wrong, or give you medicine to fix it, etc. But your problem doesn't go away at the office or hospital. If you broke your arm, sure the doctor will put you in a cast, if you have strep throat, sure the doctor will give you medicine. But will your pain and problems be resolved right then and there? I say, no way! The eye doctor, he solves the problem in the instant. I go in every year with my prescription {unfortunately} getting worse. I leave with a new pair of contacts and my problem is fixed. That second. There is a special place in heaven for ophthalmologists! If I were going to be a doctor, I'd be an eye doctor.

Dried apples- They are a great sweet snack and I really enjoy the texture. Is that weird?

My photography clients- I especially love it when they enjoy the results so much they send me thank you notes. It makes my day.

My pearl trademark- the other day I took a nap and took off my necklace and earrings and forgot to put them back on after. That evening someone totally noticed and asked why I wasn't wearing them! I love that!

Non chlorinated bodies of water- Sure, pools are nice, but nothing beats the summer heat like a cold reservoir or lake or ocean. Too bad Porcupine was too low to go cliff jumping yesterday! I was sad about this.

Creating- I love creating almost anything. Whether it be a beautiful image, a new decoration, a food dish, other art. I love putting things together to make something new and better.

Writing cards- I'm trying to do this more often. I think noticing simple things to thank someone for can make almost anyone happier. I don't want card writing to die. Also, picking out cute stamps is fun.

Well designed advertisements and billboards- There are so many horrible looking billboards on the freeway. I'm on the free way almost every day and it drives me nuts when you can't tell what on earth the billboard is advertising. It also drives me nuts when store advertisements are pixelated and bad quality. Seriously people, can't  you hire someone who will make your company look better?

Shooting in new locations- I have found a lot this summer and can't wait to use them all! They're so pretty! Who wants to join me?

Limeade- Its the best summer drink. Even better than Dr. Pepper. And that's saying something for me.

It just gets Stranger- I'm still obsessed with this blog. And the best news?? Eli is moving back to Utah!! :D Ask me how happy this makes me! Ask me!

Gemma saying my name- It makes me sooo happy! I need to record it so I can always remember it and show it to her when she's older.

French Fries- This is a horrible one. I seriously love french fries. Definitely a weakness of mine. I enjoy trying to new places just to try their fries....

Obviously there are a lot more, but that's the list for now.

-Bri

This has been another round of... Screenshots!

So usually once every few months I put up funny screenshots I've taken from emails I've received, ads on facebook/email, or just anything funny that happens while I'm using my computer. I haven't done one since December probably so hopefully you like long posts of screenshots.

I didn't click to see what would happen though because I already know.

One day I'm going to do this.

an email I got from a professor

If this was a real thing, I'd buy it.

Really Ash?

look at this closely. I still can't figure out
 how that's possible....6.8 of 4.6?

The art building somehow always made my laptop and cell phone change to weird time zones. This particular day it thought it was in NY. It was so annoying.

While watching Hawaii five-0 one of the commercials was for Mormon.org!

never a more true statement. Especially for Ashleigh.

Facebook ads. What gems they are.

Just something to think about.

the plethora of dating ads for me.

I even got a Chinese lesbian one!!

Betsy sent me this. It was her extra credit on a test.
How does she think of these things??

John made a facebook group for my bedroom spiders. We are currently at 5 likes. :D

I was on KSL job sight and this was totally a job. Title: Rockstar.
You'd better believe I applied for it.

PS It's my half birthday on Saturday!

So I have a question.

So I have a question. It's a hard question and I am not sure that you'll be able to answer it. It's a pretty serious question. One that I've had for several years now but recently it has really annoyed me.

What is the deal with guy/men {I don't know what to call males of my age, but that's another question entirely} and being obsessed with fantasy/science fiction?

Don't get me wrong, I don't care that you like reading those kinds of books and watching those kinds of movies, but why is it such a monumental deal to you that I don't? This is in all seriousness. More times than I can count have I met guys/gone on dates with guys/ etc that they literally thought it was a huge deal that I didn't enjoy fantasy and science fiction. {one even had his mouth agape for pretty close to 30 seconds} I guess my question is, why is that a deal breaker?

Let me explain.

So I'm a girl. I'm a pretty girly girl too. So I obviously like chick flicks and Romantic Comedies. Given the choice between that and pretty much any other movie I'd normally choose it. But if you say you don't like watching them, I'd say, "Well that's too bad." and move on with the conversation. But that is not how guys respond. And it comes up on almost every single first date I go on.  In the scale of what is important in life/dating, one's movie/book genre of choice is probably the same importance level as what your favorite cold cereal is. In case you didn't know, that isn't important at all. Sure it might be convenient if your favorite cereal is Reeses Puffs like mine, but I think I'd be okay if you enjoyed the occasional bowl of Wheat Chex too. I don't know about you, but the best dates I've been on have not usually been the ones that we only watch a movie and talk about our favorite books. If that's the only thing you know how to do on a date then I don't want to date you anyway.

This summer I have just been getting the impression that the weirdest things are important to guys in dating that are not what I would consider even remotely important. It's really strange.

I'm going to write a book {or at least a blog post} about the things that aren't that important when first dating someone. It'll be called, So I'm not a fan of Star Wars.

Meanwhile, who has some awesome advice on how to respond and what to say when this conversationally undoubtedly comes up next. I'm all ears.

Also, I thought I'd let you know that it is 

raining out side and the sprinklers are still 

on full blast watering the sidewalks here at my 

apartment complex. 

"Droughts are for poor people." 

{name that movie. And no, it's not a fantasy movie.}

Things you shouldn't do at 2:30-3:30 in the morning.

So last night, I couldn't sleep because my brain wouldn't shut off. There are far too many things on it right now. So instead of reading more humor blogs, or watching the bachelorette again, or changing my nail polish color for the 4th time in 10 days, I decided to try and be productive. I don't think it went too well though, but you be the judge.

First, I definitely turned on the station "80's Love songs" from pandora. 80's songs are currently my favorite. And love songs, you can never ever go wrong with. Combine them and you are most definitely on your way to a productive 2:30 am. {I don't think I'd recommend this because if anything it will just make you want to rat your hair, put blue eye shadow on, and kiss Kevin Bacon.}

The next thing I did was try and find jobs to apply for that had anything at all to do with photography. I went on KSL and typed in a search for keywords like photograph, photography, photography studio, Commercial photography, Photo retoucher, Photoshop, and amazing worker. Or something like that. It came up with 18 results. That's all. #frownyface

I applied for apx 1 that I fit the exact description for, and apx 3 that I was 75% qualified for. Well, I then decided that I might as well apply for the other 14 just in case they need me like I know they do. So I literally emailed every single place with a cover letter and my resume that has little other than photography related things on it to jobs that had nothing to do with photography except in the "preferred experience" section said "basic knowledge of photoshop". I blow that qualification out of the park, to pluto and back so I'd consider that to make up for the things I didn't qualify in. For instance these included but are not limited to-

• MBA
• 12+ years marketing experience
• 10 years manager experience 
• Web design {which if you count doing my own website as experience then I definitely have at least 100 hours of experience/frustration/tears with that so... check!}
• Video production {I made a music video with some friends in high school. Also, I put a video on YouTube once... }
• product management production {repetitive?}
• "A deep understanding of budget management and prioritization skills" {I think I have at least a shallow understanding of this...}
• "Independent skills" {what does this even mean? It had it's own bullet point and everything}
• Clean Criminal and driving record {CHECK!}
• "experience in Hyper-growth of a company" {my facebook photography page jumped 75 likes in 1 week once! I'd consider that "hyper-growth"}
• "Abreast in current technologies and trends in the creative field" {I just barely graduated, so I'd say I'm pretty up to date.}

So in other words It's going to be strange if I don't come out with one of those jobs.

I'm really hoping that the job I applied for that required an MBA and 12 years experience either calls me for an interview or emails me back asking why I even applied. Either I'd call a success, really. 

I just hope that the time of when I sent the emails to those 4 companies I actually could qualify for aren't noticed.... I didn't really think this through. But, I did feel quite productive at the time.

Another thing you shouldn't do at 2:30 in the morning is write in your journal. It can get a little dramatic not to mention illegible.

I also wouldn't recommend making macaroni and cheese. Because A- your mom would tell you it's a horrible time of the day to eat, and B- because it only sounds good until it is made. And then you have to eat at least some of it because it is one of those things that just is not as good re-warmed. 

The last thing I wouldn't recommend doing is drinking 750 ml of water. For obvious reasons.

I would recommend though, sending funny pictures and texts to your siblings, because then they'll wake up in the morning by laughing and thus give them a great start to their day. But don't do this to anyone that will judge you or you don't know too well because then they'll just think you're weird. 

I sent this picture of basmati rice to Ashleigh with a quote saying "The king of Rices!" 

{Someone please name that movie!}

I must really think I'm funny when I get tired and can't sleep or something.

I'll keep you posted on if I get any awesome email replies or a job. If I get one of those jobs I'm going to change the title of this post to "Things you SHOULD do at 2:30 am" and possibly write a book about how 2:30 am is the key to getting a job you're not qualified for but pays well. It'll most likely make the New York Times Best Selling List.

Palm to Forehead Moment

I would like to introduce you to a new section of my blog where I will be giving out an award called the "Mental Palm to Forehead Award". I don't actually smack my forehead with my palm, but in my head I'm definitely doing it.

The following conversation takes place at least 1-3 times a week, and at least 5-10 times per wedding I do.


Person-So you're a photographer?
me- yeah, I am!
Person- my son/brother/niece/step-sister in law/dog is a photographer.
me- neat-o. I love my job.
person- So what do you actually do?
me-...... I'm a photographer. I even went to school and have a degree in it.
person- Oh, my son/brother/niece/step-sister in law/dog has a real job too.
me- Photography is my real job. I'm currently also trying to get on with a good studio or start shooting commercially for a company as well.
person- Oh! Like at walmart, Sears, or kiddie Kandids?
Me- Those aren't exactly real studios. In fact Kiddie Kandids and Sears both went out of business and I hear the Walmart ones are as well... I was talking about a full working studio where the photographers have previous experience and do professional work.
person- I don't know of any of those. Do you want to see some pictures of flowers my son/brother/niece/step-sister in law/dog took?
me- *Mental palm to forehead moment*

That type of conversation is real. Sometimes though instead of them trying to show me flowers, they show me trees or badly edited baby pictures with some sort of filter that creates a neon haze that makes me physically ill.

I'm a misunderstood photographer. I blame this on too many people who falsely use the term "photographer" for a term I call "I own a camera".

In other news I still can't find my sticky note of my awkward stories. Next time, I'm going to make this list on my phone. I still forget that my new phone can do this. That probably deserves a palm to forehead award too.

Also, my new phone takes pictures. I'm definitely not a great iPhone photographer, but I did get this gem at church yesterday. Going to church if you live close to BYU means you go to church on campus. Which is even more bizarre than going to church last year in the institute building. Because on top of sitting in desks you also have fantastic educational posters and fliers like this one along with the smell of chlorine from the pool. Also, there was a mannequin guy showing all of the muscular system in the room. Church in the health sciences {at least I believe that's what the building is} building can be a bit distracting.

But I really do love this poster. There were a lot of anti smoking posters in the room. Does BYU have a problem with smoking? I honestly didn't think they do. haha

The past month of my life.

So I think that I just received the award for world's worst blogger. {except Ash, she hasn't blogged in probably 4 years!!} I don't exactly have a good excuse for this because let us be honest, since moving to Provo I've become relatively friendless.

But let me catch you up on this life of mine.

I graduated. That happened nearly a month ago. Graduation was awesome. Super fun and yes, there was even confetti involved. {I'm sure you were all wondering on that one} Big milestone in the life of Brianna. Still not sure I made the right choice in cramming all requirements into 3 years instead of 4 though.

I moved to Provo. I still feel like my highly decorated in Aggie gear car, Calvin, is going to get egged soon. But thus far, provo is nice. It's definitely hard to make friends when everyone already has their BFFs because they've lived here for several years.

 I've missed logan like a child misses it's blanket. {name that song!} But, I realllly felt like I needed to move to Provo. So here am I.

I've posted waaaaaaaaaay too many pictures on Instagram. So basically I'm "one of those people" now. We all knew this would happen eventually though. Between being a photographer and having the world's cutest niece how could one not, really? I guess I'm trying to say sorry, but I'm not really too sincere about it.

I've read about 3 years of this guy's life and have laughed to tears apx 492837 times. If you want to laugh/cry you should read it. I feel like declaring my love for him via a comment on his blog but then realized that this probably happens to him all the time so I'm not sure it'd work. If you have a cute or creative idea of how I could non creepily tell him, I'm all ears. haha

I've spent a lot of time at my sister, Ashleigh's condo. So much as I'm worried that since I'm their awkward 3rd {or 4th if you count Gemma} wheel all the time, people are going to start thinking we are polygamists. So this needs to change. I'm not entirely sure it will though at the moment because Ashleigh is definitely my best friend in these parts of the woods.

I have my room set up! In my whole entire life I've only had my own room for the equivalent of probably 1 year total. So, having my own room is a breath of fresh air. Plus, it gives me a taste of what it'll be like to set up my own home one day. Which I can hardly wait to play house in real life!

I watched Gemma, {nickname-the tornado} for 4 straight days. Which made me want a baby and which made me not want a baby. Yes, that is possible.

I texted Betsy about 3 cajillion times about something exciting before she even responded. Marriage has ruined her texting talent. {Bye the way, it's her birthday on Sunday and ask me if I've even made an elaborate plan to surprise her this year. The answer is no. First time in years that this is the case. But don't fret, I'll figure something out. And don't worry about her reading this, she definitely doesn't read my blog unless I make her}

I found out why we are in a draught every year. It's because my apartment complex waters the lawn no joke, 4-5 times a day. I may exaggerate numbers on my blog sometimes {like cajillion and 492837} but that 4-5 times is real. The best part though is that our sidewalks are most likely going to start growing because the water mostly just gets them. I'll keep you posted on this because it'll probably be a "breaking news" worthy moment on KSL. Also, I might slip to my death because it's like a swamp out there. And we all know that I've had my limit of 1 concussion this year already.

I thought about posting all of my Instagram pictures here today, but decided that you're thoroughly sick of them already. So I, your welcome in advance, did a quick photo shoot of my own little bedroom. You're probably going to die of cuteness or something like that. {Is it a sin to post pictures of my bedroom in BYU housing?? If so, sorry. I hope I don't offend you.}

Yes, I do sleep with a down comforter during the summer, don't you? 

I just love my wall of picture frames. 

This is my "Brianna Nichole Photograpy office". Business card holder and all.
Also note that there is a picture frame that is empty. Whom ever brings me a picture first will
be placed in it. Or whenever I get around to printing another one of Gemma. The choice is yours

I need some sort of nice thingy to put on my jewelry box. 

Known as "My Heart Belongs In Logan" or "Aggie Pride wall". Either work.
Also, who wants to clean the sink with me next time I'm in Logan??
{Which will  be June 12, so put that on your calendar!}

Love this lace. 

see mom, I DEFINITELY don't have as many shoes as your eldest.
Also, USU photo friends: note that I love you so
much I hung your work on my wall. :D

I had some awkward things happen in my life lately and have been writing them down on a sticky note so I can post about them here because I know you live for stories about my life, but can't find it at the moment so check back {in another month??} and hopefully I will have written about them soon. {longest. run-on. ever.}

-Bri

Want to hear how pathetic I am?

Yesterday I was listening to some great 80's love songs via Pandora, artist taping my images to my beautifully cut matt board for my show. I was thinking about my mental checklist that occurs at the end of every semester. You know how I usually have a count of how many ____'s left till the end of the semester? {I promise I'll get to the point} Here's pretty much how it went:

Photo shoots- 12
Pictures to print- 32
quizzes- 1
Finals-1
Projects-1
Portfolios to turn in-1
Things to get ready for my show- between a 0 and 1.
class days-4
days 'till graduation- 15

And it hit me literally like a semi truck that I'm really graduating.
You're probably thinking, how has it not already? Well I'm really good at mentally blocking out things that I know are looming distantly in the future that I don't want to happen. So I've been doing this hoping that May 4th would never come. It's been working rather well until yesterday....

But it is coming! And I am not sure I've ever been so sad in my entire life! Here I was at my humble 70's kitchen table having this inner battle with myself. It went almost identical to this-

Emotional self- "Wednesday is the last day I'll ever get to shoot in the USU studio!" {tears welling in my eye balls}

Tough self- "pull yourself together, Brianna!"

Emotional self- This is the 2nd to last print I'll ever matt for a gallery in college! {tears reaching the overflow point in my eyes.}

Tough self- "Don't you dare cry, Brianna!"

Emotional self- "I'm almost done with my very last end of semester portfolio I'll ever do!" {full-on crying}

aaaaand my tough self pretty much gave in to my emotional self for a good and hearty cry. And unfortunately it didn't really make me feel much better because it didn't exactly change the fact that I only have 2 weeks left.

Apparently growing up is a reality that happens whether you like it or not.

Advice to those younger than I am- take 10 years {at least} to graduate college. I wish I would have.

So that is my story of being pathetic. Instead of celebrating graduating college, and the great accomplishment it is, I cry because it's over.

I think I attribute this to my childhood of moving every few years and having to say goodbye to the places and people I loved. Every time it was hard. And I knew every time it happened that there'd be people I'd never see again and places I'd never go back to.

I know the same is true for Logan and USU. I have LOVED my experiences here. I loved this school so much. I seriously am inspired and a better person because of the people I met here and I can entirely say I know who I am because of it. I grew up here. I learned more here, not just scholarly and photography related, but about life and the world and what I want out of life and what's most important to me too.

I know that when I move from this beautiful valley that there are people I'll never see again. It makes me emotional just thinking about this! I'm pretty good at keeping in touch with people, but it's not the same. It's hard to say goodbye to a place that has so much meaning and importance to me.

I know I'm 100% ready to plant myself somewhere where I'll never have to say goodbye again with someone who will always be there. I know this is likely not going to happen right away, but a girl can dream, right?

And to end on a non-somber note, ya'll are coming to my BFA exhibition tomorrow, correct? GREAT! I'll see ya there! 7-9 @ Herm's Inn.

I aspire to be a classy woman one day; meanwhile I'll wear sweat pants and heels.

Today was a pretty good day. I'm pretty blessed.
But I did end up changing from the prettiest lace pencil skirt and nylons to sweat pants and heels in a 7-eleven bathroom. I'm not even going to tell you why I did this because it sounds ridiculous and I'm going to jinx myself by explaining the whole story and then everyone will think I'm even more awkward than you probably already do. We'll just leave it at the sketchy gas station clerk whistling at me as I left the store in sweats, pearls, curly hair, nice make up, my perfect shade of lipstick, and yes, high heel stilettos. NBD

But forreals, I really want to be a classy woman one day. Like a southern belle or Mrs Bush, the past 1st lady of the country. Who is also a southern belle..... hmmm. So one day when I grow out of my awkward years {is that going to happen one day?} I'll be a classy lady, and you'll say, "my my is she a classy lady now or what?!" And there will be much rejoicing.

But the real point of this post is to REMIND  you that my senior BFA show thingy is on FRIDAY! It's at SEVEN-NINE pm at HERM'S INN in Logan. so BE there. 'Cause I'm real proud of my stuffs going in it. {not that I'm done with it....} And I hear there's going to be some good food. So come for that too. But make sure you say hi. Because I want to see you. Also, I'll try to wear something a little classier than sweats and heels. Maybe I'll up it to jeans and heels.
{mom, that was a joke.}

You need to behold your eyes on this babe. Does she not have the cutest bed head you've everrrrr seen?? I wish I could rock that look!

I have an honorary black belt in being awkward.

Hey. I just wanted to let you know that I recently received a black belt in awkwardness. It was a long time coming. I have been through most of the colors but I just realized that it's probably black now.

Sometimes I just feel like I don't even know what normal is. Lately I've been so stressed and busy and sleep deprived that my body and mind just do weird things and I'm pretty sure that it's awkward. But you know, whatever.

Example, I'm moving to provo {very mixed feelings about this} for at least the summer. But I really {no offense} don't want to live with all the 18 and 19 year olds especially. I'm graduating, and entering the realms of the awkward {naturally}, un-married, yet graduated, real adult world. Therefore, I'd like to live with and around other people who are in the same boat. My dad used to be in the high council of a BYU stake where this is the exact life position lots of people were in. So, he emailed the bishop to get the RS president's number so I can ask her if she knew if anyone was selling contracts for the summer. Ya know, because I don't know where anything is in provo, it's similar to a foreign country. So I got this girl's number and texted her this long text, because I'm not a woman of few words, about how it's not awkward to text a random person about your random problems and ask for help and such and then asked her a few questions. Well a few minutes later I get the nicest text from this number telling me I have the wrong number. And they were seriously so nice. And I thought to myself while turning a little pink in my face, "Well, luckily they don't know who I am so its not even awkward. Dodged a bullet on that one!"..... 'till I realized I'd put my first and last name in the text. So this mystery person probably Facebook stalked me to put a face with the weird texter. Sometimes I'm brilliant. So I went back and checked the number and I'd totally dislex-ified the entire thing. And I'm not even dyslexic.


Maybe I should think of it as a talent. Ya know, don't hide your talent, but practice them sort of thing. I am pretty good at it...

I have many more from the past week, but they're too embarrassing to talk about. Sometimes I think that they're just going to be the greatest bed time stories for my children one day. Every night they'll say, "mommy, mommy! tell me another one of your stories when you did awkward things!" And I'll be like, "Which one should I choose tonight?" Perfect.


But speaking of children, you should read this. It is pretty much really cute.
It's not awkward, but instead it's tender.

**I just wanted to clarify that I don't write about my awkward stories to make you think I'm more awkward, but instead to let you know that I know I'm awkward sometimes but don't choose to be, and that it's something I'm working on. Also, sometimes it's really great for inducing ab-working laughter. I mean, after it's over and all.

Also, I haven't made a new cupcake recipe in almost a month. This is a serious misfortune in both yours and my life. Maybe I'll try to work on that. But don't hold your breath. Too many end of senior year projects to do.

Happy 1st birthday Gemma!

1 year ago, my life changed forever. I'd been waiting a long time for her arrival and I got the world's best title: AUNT.

you guys. I feel I have never had a more important title. I  mean, I have the responsibility of being a person that is a good example to her throughout her life, but I also have to make sure I'm fun and her favorite.

That's a lot of pressure. So far, I've been really good at this. I mean, I taught gemma how to high five, and to drink out of a straw, and we're working on kissy faces and knuckles. Soon she'll be able to say bri-bri. I gave her both a veggie and a dessert for lunch, so obviously I'm pretty good at both. She really does love me. She's a drama queen and totally going to be a girly girl. She loves to watch me put on make up and she even helps me put on powder.

She's just a perfect little girl. And it doesn't hurt that she's the most adorable peanut ever. I learned a new type of love. I love my family, and my friends, and have even fallen in love with a man, but I never understood this type of love before. If I can love this little girl this much, I can't wait for the love I'll feel for my very own babies one day.

Gemma is a lucky baby. She has so many people that love her and is being raised in a family where she is taken care of so well and going to be taught great values to help her throughout her life.

In honor of this {now} toddler, Here are some pictures I took of her during her first year of life. Brace yourself, I take a lot of her.

I can't believe how much she has grown in 1 year! It's like she's going to kindergarten next year! 

I'm so excited to see how much she grows and changes before her second birthday. And hopefully by then I'll have a 2nd niece to spoil! *hint hint ash & nathan*

I LOVE YOU GEMMA!